Every wedding will have their fair share of it. Well, at least most weddings we are at, we see it. And we enjoy it – the process of it, not being part of it though. For the uninitiated, the Gate Crash is where the groom goes through a series of obstacles in order to get his bride. Sort of telling the man, “hey your wife ain’t that easy catch still!” I (Pat) have had my fair share of it and I kinda got by it easily, partially because (1) my tongue is kinda desensitised, (2) I am a ‘war’ veteran – I go through it on average twice a month, (3) and so are my brother entourage. It’s still catching on here even after 15 over years in Singapore and the games are getting wilder too. Fetching bride used to be such romantic sweet thing till someone decides to play an ‘evil’ joke on the guys…
So, here is my (personal and slightly satirical) take on gatecrashing games, complete with pictorial illustration (all taken by us) – for your viewing pleasure. Oh, I do predict that some of these will be used as references. hahahaha
Let’s lament on the first thing – WE get it FIRST
All games must be properly executed, to its precision to give maximum impact. So there must always be a proper ‘certified’ QC. Given that the person opening the door is too young to give proper analysis and the target audience is a male, guess who is the Quality Controller? US! So before the groom and his groomsmen arrive, we are there not only to document the day, we are the Quality Controller. We test it before you come. And given that I have rather desensitised tongue, I guess it will be quite interesting for the guys… It also allows us to capture these emotions and expressions (Something most bridesmaids are targeting right?)
Food glorious food
酸甜苦辣. Sour, sweet, bitter, hot. The Chinese have this idiom where one will definitely go through these 4 phases in their relationship. And it is directly translated for the tastebuds. Hence the evolution of the food games, where food which are sour, sweet, bitter and hot are served with loving care to the groomsmen. Here are some of the more interesting combination we encountered…
The newest trend? Edible silkworm anyone? Served with generous amount of wasabe.
This is a kid’s dream. But to finish it all off in one shot – that’s a real challenge. We remembered the bride’s dad was gamed enough to chip in to eat it… his expression was priceless.
Sometimes you wish they concoct some aphrodisiac drink instead.
In the pursuit of serving the food, in recent times, we do see more and more bridesmaids using more time to give better food presentation. kudos to them. Hence I call this game “爱心早餐” (Breakfast with Love)
Wax it. Lick it.
Kinda explains it all. The ultimate in pain for men. The excitement from the bridesmaids is in direct proportion to the amount of bodily hair you have – Maximum effect. A slight variation to this game is the guys have to randomly pick a number and will only know which part of their body will be waxed after they chosen their numbers. The fun one will be the chest hair and not to forget the leg hair too. At this moment, we have yet to see eye brows on the list… yet.
Also, the licking. This is completely gross partially because we guys perspire SO MUCH! To top it off, this is the game is usually one of the last few ones, after previous few games were played in hot, stuffy, windless corridors. I don’t know about the taste, but I am pretty sure it has to be somewhat salty too?
Another variant – the intimate kiss.
Ok. Some of the groomsmen do get a high while doing this ‘station’. The groom, as tested, is definitely the right man for the job.
The predecessor to ice bucket challenge
Way way way before the latest ALS ice bucket challenge, we already have this ice challenge. Nope, not referring to pouring iced water on to the groom (the bridal company probably will get you murdered with their price they put on cleaning). It is also the epitome of playing God of Gamblers – since you have to feel the mahjong tiles with your foot albeit in ice soapy water. In retrospect, it does make sure that the brothers do not have 香港脚 (smelly feet) before entering the house!
The variant. Icing the key. Oh sisters, you are behind the gate; what makes you think the guys won’t smash it on the floor…
The IPPT. Physical fitness to the test.
Man must protect his woman. Let’s go back to the basic test of manliness – how fit you are. The groom and groomsmen are tasked to do physically straining activities such as running up the stairs to the bride’s home level, carrying buckets of water, etc. I seriously cannot imagine if the bride is staying on the 23rd level, then the groom just auto-enrolled himself for vertical marathon. And ya, we poor photographers and video man have to chase the groom up too! I remembered pausing the game myself to catch my breath after running up the stairs with them to take their video…
Important physical test for the guys. Aiming.
Some of these test, hmmm do ‘test’ the man’s skills, abilities and flexibility. 😛
The Ultimate Game.
Yes. When the bridesmaids pull all the stunts and games, the groomsmen will reiterate it is just a game and their xyz reasonings. We always save the best for last and that’s where the ladies ‘chut’ their last ultimate weapon. When this is used, even the groom is left with nothing to say. What is the Ultimate Game? The parents will also want to join in the fun! This one… seriously? Good luck!
Sometimes, just sometimes, this one you can never say no to. The Bride 亲自下手.
Good news. Sometimes the men wins.
In rare occasions, you must really give it to the guys. With wit, experience and some cajoling, the girls cave in and victory is on hand!
The discounted package.
But in all, just give them what they want lar!
Ultimately, in the game of so much fun and laughter, all the ladies want is something nice in a red packet. The bigger the amount, the more discount you will get in the games or just plain “WELCOME IN”. Though majority of the time, you are just better off playing a bit, haggle a lot and laugh all the way, for this is your day, your call and your celebration.
Oh, don’t worry. In time to come we might, just might, come up with how to deal with the various gatecrash games for my brothers out there. At the meantime, have a good breakfast before the games, cover and conceal, and standby plastic bags. Pack it with lots of laughter and trust your photographers and videographers. We just want to have the effect for your pictures and videos 😛